Even Homeless Guys Would Get Sick Of This.

http://www.nytimes.com/pages/garden/index.html
Could you imagined if these lines the streets? I got sick with agita just looking at these shitbombs. Apparently Mr. Diedricksen hasn't heard of this little this called FUCKING CLAUSTROPHOBIA! If he were trying to be cute, this would be an entirely different matter. He's not. He uses these mini-monstrosities, and I'm sure as shit that he'll look to sell the rights to them. These are furnished coffins! For $1600 more, I get:
1) a toilet  2) a shower  3) a fucking bedroom  4) an office  5) a full living room  6) room for my fucking wife! 7) most importantly, the opportunity to not have a weirdo pick up my house while I'm sleeping and toss me into the East River. Or to beat off outside my curtainless window while I sleep. I pay someone to do that now.
As my teachers would say to me as a youngster, "For someone so smart, Diedricksen, you can be SOOOOOO fucking stupid". If you need to get away from your wife and kids this bad, GET A DIVORCE. I love the 4x4 trap he built for his little brat that has a cute dinosaur face on it. Way to dress up the kiddie prison, my man! Someone should lock him in one of these for 2 weeks. I'm gonna go take $200 and buy an XBox.

My Wife Loves Mal. A LOT.

And she would love it if Firefly, the doomed sci-fi wonder-series from Joss Whedon (I always get yelled at for saying Josh. Sorry.) were brought back for another season, or a movie, or a mini-series...or just showed up at the house! If you have never seen Firefly, or know little about it, it's a sci-fi western! Yee-haw! It was doomed by Fox(figures) immediately by being relegated to Friday nights, also known as the "death slot", where shows go to die. Here's a clip!

So now, Nathan Fillion has sent dorkdom ablaze with geek lust by suggesting that he would buy the series if he could and revive the franchise. Here's the resulting story!
http://blogs.forbes.com/insertcoin/2011/02/23/how-much-would-you-pay-for-another-season-of-firefly/

It's a great show. You should watch it. It's only 11 episodes. Do it.

For My Friends Who Said That Citizens United Ruling Hadn't Had Any Effect Yet.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/22/us/22koch.html?smid=fb-nytimes&WT.mc_id=US-SM-E-FB-SM-LIN-KBM-022211-NYT-NA&WT.mc_ev=click

It has had a huge effect. These guys bought Scott Walker's governorship. Now they are quite openly and directly attacking the working classes, a great deal of whom voted for Walker like blind children. The idea that Walker, as reported on Fox "News", is only carrying out his announced agenda, is ludicrous. Using a sweeping generalization like "balancing the budget" doesn't allow a public official the right to use said language as an umbrella under which the official (and his financiers) can group all sinister schemes. I had better be careful with my language; an assault on free speech cannot be far behind...not to be a Chicken Little, but the sky IS falling, and we are all screwed.

Dogs That Look Like Sad Ratty Mops Can Trigger Childhood Memories!

Sometimes, you forget the events which molded you into the person whom, for better or for worse(shut up, heathen naysayers!), you have become. I, as a young lad, developed a fondness for a heroic pseudo-reptilian, radioactive hero named Godzilla. Maybe you've heard of him.
As an adult, I had all but forgotten the tumult of fire-breathing goofiness with which I would layer my Saturdays as a geek in Queens with no friends and a twin brother who I abhorred. The last installment of Godzilla films which I have treated myself to were the lampooned version of Godzilla vs. Megalon of MST3K, and the original Gojira (Godzilla was a statement on the atrocities perpetrated by the US Government on an already-decimated Japan, and the anger of a people against their rogue dictator, HiroHito).
Today as I walked up and down the hurricane streets of Grammercy trying to keep my dog's pee from splashing my face in the gusts of winter, I chanced upon the saddest Corgi I had ever seen. It was old, but also grey, sad and wildly untrimmed. As a green river flowed through and under its raggedy coat, it resembled an old, used dust mop with a dog's head. In, fact, it looked like...The SMOG MONSTER!!!

If you have never had the chance to see Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster, I strongly urge you to do so. Not only is it a wacky environmental film which will make your green thumb throb, but it's a representation of young hip Japanese culture...covered in a tar-like substance, then turned into science lab skeletons. And Godzilla punches THROUGH the motherfucker!!!This film rocks. It's also known as Godzilla vs. Hedora. Enjoy the MST3K clip also.

Read Titivil and other fun blogs I like!

Titivil is a well-written blog by Awl.com writer Brent Cox. He's a smarmy cat and I appreciate his curmudgeon-y viewpoints. I love curmudgeon-i-ness?!?
www.titivil.com

MIBKzine.com features works by Brooklyn authors for the Brooklynites and the world community!
www.mibkzine.com

What other shameless self-promotion can I do...visit me at the Abbey bar? Nah...ah, yes! My wife is a writer for examiner.com as well! Read!
 http://www.examiner.com/love-and-marriage-in-new-york/jessica-oesterle?CID=examiner_alerts_index

Check my new list of blogs I subscribe to as a reference point for area writers/bloggers!

From the streets of Cairo to...WISCONSIN?!?

The protests of the Egyptian people led to the usurping of their wicked despot, Hosni Mubarak. So why wouldn't it work for the people of Bahrain? Yemen? Wisconsin?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110217/ap_on_re_us/us_wisconsin_budget_unions

Yep, the people of the land of cheddar and Titletown are so pissed, they've already Brett Farved Gov. Walker en masse, as 25,000 of them so far have shown up at the capital to get him to pay attention to their demands...and the balls they've got. Except, in America, no matter how big the protest (or balls) of your constituents, you still, as a representative of said people, get to do what YOU want. In the words of Yakov Smirnoff, "What a country!"
A special thanks to the 14 Democrats who showed that by fleeing the scene, you can actually have balls! Hooray, Democrats with balls!!!

Just The Beginning of Republicans Attacking Their Constituents' Rights In the Name of Democracy and Reduced Spending

You rule, people of Wisconsin, for coming out to defend yourselves. Yet, if this passes, you had better respond in the polls in 2012. Why? Because if you voted for these guys, you're responsible. Oops.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_wisconsin_budget_unions;_ylt=AlNoMV59Hrc8Q96z2TLySvK2GL8C;_ylu=X3oDMTNlY3NvNDF2BGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTEwMjE2L3VzX3dpc2NvbnNpbl9idWRnZXRfdW5pb25zBGNjb2RlA21wX2VjXzhfMTAEY3BvcwMxBHBvcwMxBHNlYwN5bl90b3Bfc3RvcmllcwRzbGsDdGhvdXNhbmRzcHJv