Epic failure

After a weekend of innumerable holiday parties and binging, I can now agree on a few characteristics of what can only be described as EPIC FAILURE:
1- You drink and eat non-stop for 24 hours, then throw up AFTER you wake up the next day. At the scent of a chicken wing. Epic fail.
2- You break an entire bottle of Jameson and splash it all over your legs. Soberly. Before you go out. Epic fail.
3- You try to show how durable your phone is by biting it. Then you break it. By biting it. Epic fail. 
4- In a fit of loneliness, your dog tears through your trash, full of toxic grapes. In your frenzied discovery, you fail to pick up all grapes, and slip on one, doing a split in your kitchen. You try to avoid the split by turning your leg, tearing your knee. Epic fail.
5- You fall asleep with your drink-induced takeout food on your lap. You wake up with the food eaten by your dog, its remnants smeared on your crotch. Epic fail.
Feel free to share your own!